


falling off the deep end

by AlmightyAddy



Series: amon/helen [1]
Category: Schindler's List, schindlers list
Genre: F/M, Soulmate AU, soulmate-world is gray until you meet your soulmate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5942412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmightyAddy/pseuds/AlmightyAddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is black and white until you meet your soulmate. Once introduced, your world explodes into color.</p>
            </blockquote>





	falling off the deep end

**Author's Note:**

> *I DO NOT SUPPORT NAZI PROPOGANDA OR NAZI IDEALS. THIS IS A FICTIONAL WORK ABOUT THE HISTORICAL CHARACTERS HELEN HIRSCH AND AMON GOETH.*

Amon's world had always been black and white. His best friend, Adal, met his soulmate at age thirteen, and Amon could remember the look of complete awe on his friend's face whenever he looked at the girl he was destined to be with. The way he looked at her, as though she was the sun, as though he would risk his life for hers in a heartbeat, almost made Amon never want to meet his soul mate. He was almost sure they were already dead, anyway. He was almost thirty-seven years old, if he hadn't met his soulmate by now, it was doubtful he ever would.

He marched into the camp with a strange feeling nestled in his stomach. The air was bitter with the freezing temperatures, and his cold was making it worse. He coughed into his handkerchief as the officers chatted around him, rounding up on the group of girls they had gathered for him to chose his housekeeper.

He began his speech, rambling about domestic experience and labor. His attention was narrowed in on the girl towards the back of the group, so small in stature she barely reached the other girls shoulders. She didn't have any domestic experience, and yet something drew him in to her.

He called her out from the group, and asked her name. Her voice was quiet, almost harsh as she shivered in the cold. Her fingers were trembling.

Finally, he caught her name. "Helen Hirsch," She told him, and his world burst into color.

*

He himself escorted her to the so called villa on the hill. He could not physically stop himself from staring at her, amazed by the detail color provided. Her cheeks were a rosy color, flushed from the cold, and her eyes were the most beautiful shade of brown he could ever imagine. One would think that he would be overwhelmed by the colors of the world around him, but until he could touch her he would be solely focused on the colors of Helen.

It was a cruel, trick of nature for her to be Jewish. Whatever God looking over them was surely laughing at his misfortune. Still, he could not blame her for this. He wishes he could, it would be easier to resent her than to love her, and yet he cannot help himself.

He opens the door for her, and she steps into the home, and at this point he's not sure if she's frightened of him. She was, he thinks, before they were introduced. But the moment they met, his world burst into flying strands of bright, brilliant shades. He was sure her's did the same.

The villa was empty, and her small footsteps echoed across the floor. Her beauty was astonishing, from the slope of her cheek to the round of her lips. He walked up behind her, so close that he could smell her. She smelt of lilacs. Lilacs must be a beautiful color, just like her.

He suddenly felt small and afraid. Perhaps her world hadn't burst into color like his had. Maybe this was a mistake, a cruel one, nonetheless.

But then she turned towards him and all doubts diminished. She wore a nervous smile on her lips, and he couldn't help but to grin at her. He couldn't even remember the last time he had even smiled.

They were so close that the breath they breathed was shared. He inhaled sharply, his fingers messing with a loose string on his jacket. "Do you...see?" It sounded silly, truly, but for some strange reason it made since. Seeing in color was like seeing for the first time again.

She nodded, a relieved look overtaking her face. He choked out a laugh, drawing her towards him and clutching her against him. Her thin arms slithered around his neck, and he pulled her off the floor just the slightest bit. She released a bell like laughter, and he could've sworn that it was the sound of angels singing.

*

Their relationship was strange. They had to sneak every ounce of affection that they wanted to give one another, and going days without seeing one another was bad for both of them, but particularly Amon. Helen knew he was a harsh man, but it seemed as though after meeting her it had gotten just the slightest bit better. However, he did go on many trips, and there were only rumors of what happened to her people when he was gone for days at a time.

They had to be careful. Neither could reveal that they could see color, it would provide to many questions. Amon would be jailed if anyone knew he loved a Jew, and Helen would surely be killed. Although he was violent to the world around them, he was exceedingly gentle to her. The stable boy had noticed, and Helen never saw the boy again.

She was not a fool. She knew her Amon was a bit of a monster. She knew she should not love him like she did. But Amon's love was all consuming, and even if she wanted to she doubted her ability to end it. She'd never felt something like this before, something that shook her very soul completely.

Their love was complex and not always pure, but it was them. There were days when they were overwhelmed with happiness, when he would get home from work and simply pick her up and twirl her around. But, then there were days when he was angry. He had never gotten particularly angry at her, and he had certainly never laid a hand on her that wasn't meant for affection, but when he was angry he threw things.

She had been in the kitchen cleaning when she heard the front door open. She smiled softly to herself, knowing that he would check the entire house before coming to find her, jut to be sure before he laid kisses on her as he always did. But, instead of checking the house, he made his way into the dining room.

The crashes came in threes, and Helen hurried to stand up from the kitchen floor. She pushed open the door from the kitchen to the dining room, her heartbeat already speeding up in fear.

Amon stood in the center of the room, hunched over and shaking in rage. She started towards him, but was stopped when he launched another glass at the wall. A piece of glass ricochet and embedded itself into her palm, and she gave out a cry of pain.

His attention was drawn instantly to her, and his face grew slack with shock as he realized he was the cause of her pain. She licked her lips, allowing a small gasp to escape her lips. He started towards her frantically, tears running down his face as he tried to explain to her that it was an accident, and she tried to tell him she knew.

He fell to his knees in front of her, grasping handfuls of her dress in his hands as he pleaded to her. She fell down beside him, moving to move his hair from his face but he let out an agonized scream as her blood brushed his skin.

Oskar Schindler was there in ten minutes, plucking glass out of her palm with tweezers.

*

She heard of the arrangements of Schindler's List when she was on her way home from the market. She was talking to another Jewish girl who'd been chosen to be the maid of another officer, as they were only allowed to run errands in groups, with two guards to ensure that they wouldn't escape. Schindler's List was spoken of in only whispers, afraid that the officers would hear. What surprised Helen was that Rebekah, the girl, said that her name was on the list.

Helen was enraged.

She pounded her fists on his chest, and he took the beating. That's how she knew he agreed to it.

She couldn't fathom being apart from him. She'd thought he'd felt the same for her.

He finally told her the truth when she collapsed into his arms. He was doing it to save her. He had to save her.

She kissed him then. It wasn't their first kiss, but it felt like their last. They were desperate and needy of one another, and he kissed her back with a bruising force. They stumbled after one another and ended up on Helen's cot in the corner of the cellar. She peeled him out of his uniform, overcome with an unbelievable confidence and safety. Her dress came off next with the help of his trembling fingers.

*

They laid with one another after they had finished, her fingers tracing patterns up his arm. It was then when she murmured I love you's into his skin in Hebrew.

*

Their departure was simple, he kissed her softly before he pushed her out the door to head to the car waiting for her. It seemed as though the color in the world faded just the slightest bit.

*

He had never been angrier than when he found she was accidentally sent to Auschwitz. He blamed Schindler, for letting him convince her to let him go. He blamed the government, for putting her there. He blamed her, for making him love her.

He blamed himself.

*

The war was over. Helen and her friends were free. She felt an overwhelming sense of relief, which was soon replaced by anxiety. She had to find Amon.

After several months searching, she was on her way to see her sister in their favorite bakery. She hadn't been able to find him, but she was sure that he would find her. The air was breezy in fall, and she  
had adorned a coat already in the slight chill. Still, the sun shone bright today.

Something clicked off as she rounded the corner towards the bakery. The red sign was gray. Everything was gray.

A scream etched its way out of her throat as she realized what it meant. Amon Goeth was dead.

She thought of the date on the newspaper this morning; September 13, 1946.


End file.
